SMA: Self-conscious Momma's Anonymous

Today, I have been having some boy image issues. I searched for natural ways to get breasts firm again and all the sites that I found pretty much said, "sorry chick, that's what happens when you have a baby. You think it's bad now, wait until you have another one and ANOTHER ONE." Encouraging. I soon found myself looking at a plastic surgery website and Googling "average cost of breast lift vs impants." Anytime that is in my Google "recently searched" you know I've hit a low point on the body image scale.

I have no idea what brought this on. Probably the same way that most crazy, irrational thoughts begin, slowly and unnoticed until it becomes a huge pimple in my thoughts that all of a sudden I can't NOT think about. Anyway, it happened. So my day starts to wind down a bit, the baby has been put to bed, I have cut the grass, and it's time for me to take a shower. As I'm shampooing and continuing to throw myself a pity party for the curves that once were, I thought about how nice it would be if there was some kind of support group for women like me who are grieving the loss of a pre-pregnancy body. I'm not certain if there are groups out there like this, but if there aren't, there should be. So then my imagination kicks on and I start to think of how nice it would be to have a group where us ladies can share how horrible it is to have our bodies ruined by our little miracles that we would never trade for all the glorious boobies in the world, but that we still really want those boobies.

I imagined that my little group could be called SMA: Self-conscious Momma's Anonymous and we could have a conference twice a year where we eat, drink, and be merry! The conference could be sponsored by a lingerie company and there would be fashion shows of these momma's in their sexy little get ups and everyone would hoop and holler in support of embracing our new bodies. We could release balloons to symbolize letting go of what we used to be and then get so drunk that we don't really care anymore about what we are now.

Hi, I'm Amanda and I have a tummy that looks like ground beef.

(disclaimer, this is not my child)