Ghosts of Friendships Past

Today, as I was eating my lunch, some old memories popped into my head. Memories of friends that I no longer speak with. I felt really nostalgic and a little sad. And then I thought of why I no longer speak with these people who I shared such a great time in my life with.

I am not friends with these people anymore because of two individuals in particular. These two people have done me very wrong in the past. Forever tainted my friendships with the remainder of the group. And yet I miss them. What is wrong with me? These two people have treated me worse than anyone in my life and I'm sure that they don't think twice about it. But me, I think about them quite often. Oddly enough, I don't think of them with a shred of anger in my bones. Part of me wants to reach out to them and see how they are doing, see if we can make amends. Again, I say, what is wrong with me?

While chewing on my fried chicken house salad from Zaxby's, I realized that I had the urge to reconnect with these people and forgive and forget all that happened because they meant so much to me. For me at least, the people who hurt me the most are the people who I care for the most. If someone is mean to me that I don't care about, it'll bother me for a day or two and then I'll move on. But these people, I would say that I cared for them like you would siblings. I loved them. I think that's why I'm having difficulty moving on when this occurred years ago.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy with my life the way it is. I love my family and the friends that I do have are amazing! It just sucks that some very important friendships to me were lost and likely will never be recovered. Sad days.

But here I am now, snuggling my sweet baby boy while my wonderful husband is at work and it is all good.

BTW - little bug has started standing up when we hold him. His little legs are getting so strong!

My big standing boy!